Wethington says that parents may be contributing to this delay by holding on to their kids a little longer than previous generations did. They let them live at home after college. They bankroll them for years. They allow their children to remain kids when they're capable of taking responsibility for themselves.

This phenomenon reminds me of a recurring conversation I had with my parents that went something like this.

My parents: "When are you going to grow up?"
Me: "When are you going to start treating me like a grown-up?"

This circular conversation captures some truth. When my parents, my boss, my husband, my child clearly expect me to behave like an adult, how can I deny that I am one?

And yet even after I began to work full time, earned money, was married, and became a parent, I discovered those experiences transformed me-and aged me-but didn't land me in that elusive place I believed adulthood would take me, a peaceful, serene place where all the answers resided.

The reason I haven't arrived, of course, is that no such place exists. Adulthood isn't a place, a final destination we arrive at after years of growth, it's a role we enter and exit. The door swings both ways, and each of us holds our own set of keys.

ADULTHOOD?
I'll know I'm grown up when:
The man snoring on the couch is my husband, not my father
I say, "It's funny until someone gets hurt."
I file my taxes before April 15
My retirement account exceeds my student loan balance


　　我是成年人吗？

　　很快我就39岁了，也遭遇过中年危机，可尽管这样，我还是没觉得自己是个成年人。相反，随着年岁的增长，我觉得自己变得越来越不成熟。
　　我一直认为自己是个成熟的大小孩。在我10岁之前，我已经在两幢房子、四间公寓里居住过，中间还转学多次。在我14岁的时候，我的父母离异，他们还就我的抚养权问题纠缠不休；等我高中毕业的时候，我已经很了解自己，也知道自己到底要什么。
　　我很叛逆，常常大声地拒绝他人，也很痛恨自己——明明是自己的事情，可自己还要容忍别人的摆布。
　　在我30岁的时候，我结了婚，还有了个儿子，可我感觉自己就像新生儿一样：疲倦而且脾气暴躁。
　　从那时起，我又继续开始成长。可我不敢肯定自己已经进入了成年期。
　　我问我八岁的儿子科欧特，问他眼里的成年人是有什么特点。他说成年人：
　　要去上班
　　会煮饭
　　有钱
　　年纪至少在20岁以上
　　结了婚
　　有了孩子
　　这些明明我都完成了，可为什么我就没感觉自己已经是个成年人了呢？
上一页 1 23 4 下一页

上一篇：我那安全的孩子
下一篇：我想要个妻